


Granted

by 101349



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3987016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/101349/pseuds/101349
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a phrase said to be careful of what you think to wish for, because there's also choosen people who can hear the wish and granted them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, so please be kind to all wrong grammar and typos. It’s my first time after a long time to write (again) and write in different language is another challenge for me. Critics in a kind way are appreciates. and I'm trying to find a beta??

Mark always thought that Seoul’s sky is to close for his like. He always expects the sky to be unreachable, to be far, and to give freedom feeling instead of suffocating him like now. And at shit time like this he always feels home sick. Always make him missing California’s sky more than anything, even more than him. Yes, that stupid person.

He knows soon he’ll be in trouble when the manager finds out that he isn’t supposed to be where he is now. Sleeping soundly at their dorm or maybe practicing to the last breath at their company. But here he is, in the middle of Seoul night city light. Feeling like shit and miserable.

He could see from the corner of his eye that same girl, always same girl, tailing his steps. He feels his chest getting tighter. He almost couldn’t hear any sound. His ears are ringing with static sounds. He wishes he could be unseen, could be unheard, could be disappear, could be vanish. Something chokes on his throat. But he tried to hold it down.

As he walks faster, he could see that people start to recognize him. Start to pointing finger at him. Some of them take his picture and some others shouting his name. For time like this he hopes he’s still just Mark Tuan, instead of Mark Tuan of GOT7. And that creepy girls starting to drives him nuts. Keeping on tailing him and even push other passerby.

He tried to escape. He tried to make time on his own. To think. To found his own path that been lost from his sight. To find himself. But alone time now isn’t something he could get easily. That privilege already taken once he signed the contract. But still he hopes. He wishes.

His steps stop at some intersection. He tried to get lost at the crowed of people trying to across the road. I wish I could disappear. I wish I could be unseen. I wish I could be alone. I wish I could vanish. I wish I could…

Suddenly there’s a strong grip at his wrist. He looks at his hand to find delicate fingers wraps around his wrist. And as he look up to find the owner of those hand…

“What a dangerous thought you have. To vanish isn’t as simple as it seems.”

At those words Mark feels so bare and vulnerable. It’s like those time you heard on the movie or songs that time stops still. That the worlds around you stop revolves.

“Then just let me being unseen and unheard.”

He doesn’t know where those words come from. Or even how could he say those words to a stranger who said the strangest thing he ever heard. But once he said it, he feels relieve vibrates through his body.

And that woman, the one with eyes as clear as summer skies but also as dark as darkest night, tightening her grips to his wrist. She’s looking straight to his eyes. And he feels like he’s drowning. Like he’s been suck up to the deepest sea.

Then that women sighs a deep breath. She tilts her head aside a little. A gesture that wouldn’t be notice if he didn’t stand so close to her. She breaks their eyes contact and look to the side. Mark follow her looks and he think he must be crazy. The world and time stop indeed.

He could see that creepy girl walk half way in the air. Looks like she’s trying to catch Mark before he could cross the street and lost in the crowded. And nobody. Like really nobody nor anything moves. There’s also no sound. No voices. Everything just like frozen in time. Only him and that mysterious woman, who still looking at that creepy girl.

Then there’s a smirk curls on her lips as she looks back at Mark.

“Granted.”

 

And the time and the worlds revolve again so suddenly that takes Mark’s breathe away.

And now he sees it. Nobody really see him. Even when he suddenly breaks down in the middle of the crowded with bitter laugh and tears stream down his face, nobody hear him. Even that creepy girls look lost. Like something has been taken away from her but she couldn't tell what.

He’s literally vanishes.


	2. Granted

“Are you even a human being?”

She bark a surprised laugh at him, “Do I look otherwise?”

“Well, it’s just not human thing I think.”

Once again she let out a full laugh, “For a person who just broke down and cried their eyes out, you sure still have a brain.”

Mark feels his cheeks getting warm a bit. He couldn’t deny her statement. Because he did break down and cried. But that’s just because the feeling for once being totally free so overwhelming that he couldn’t help to let all out.

He vaguely remembers she brought him to this coffee shop. Well what can he said, he’s too busy to compose himself to care that this woman, way smaller than him anyway even though chubbier after he take a good look, could drag him to this place. Not like anybody could judge him because, you know they consider him nothing now. Which is, reminds him to get back to the topic.

“So, you could read people mind and granted their wish. I’m really nothing now? Like vanish from the earth?”

“Well,just say I could _read_ people mind at some conditions,” she sigh and sip her coffee, black and strong that makes Mark a bit dizzy by the smell, "And as I said before, vanish isn’t as easy as it seems. It’s tricky and sticky things that I rather keep away from my hands.”

“But nobody sees or hears me now. Isn’t it same as vanish?”

She tsk at his words, like he said the most stupid things that she ever heard, “Dear Mark, even though vanish mean disappear suddenly and completely, the things entails are very tricky, sticky, and risky. And you are still here. Your body and your mind and your soul. I mean, there are whole memories, chains of events, moments, documentations, and all shitty things involve that your brain couldn’t comprehend right now. “

 “But like I said before nobody sees or hears me now.” Mark tries to insist by moving his arms around and make sure she sees nobody event blink at his—or their—direction.

“I never know you’re not as quite as you looked like, and dumber than I expected if I may add.”

 Mark tries to retaliate but suddenly choke by his words over some realization, “You know my name! Oh my God!”

Over this she rolls her eyes, “You’re famous, Mark. Part of GOT7 if I should reminds you.”

“Well, yeah but I still can’t understand this things right now. Am I going crazy? Or am I delusional? Or I pass out somewhere and dreaming now or even dead already?”

“Then I’m flattered to be your angel?”

“Seriously!!” Mark snaps.

“Alright, alright. Chill out, dude. I just granted what you wished for. To be unseen and unheard. Not vanish. There are some boundaries and limits to your wish. And also some prices to be paid. But put that aside first. You’ll be like _nothing_ —your word not mine, until you want to be seen and heard again. Is that clear?”

Over her words, Marks tries hard to digest this new information. “So it’s real and you could do these things in basic life? Wow.”

“I’m not just granted anybody wishes, Mark. I work under rules that you won’t understand. But let’s just say today you are my _work_. And take your time to shorting your mind and your heart even.”

Mark slumps his body forward. Buries his face in his folded hand and the other slide through his hair. It’s so much to take at this sort time. Sure he does thank full to finally have time to think and short things in his mind. But still, you can accept things like this so suddenly. And crazily he’s okay with all this unreal-but- real thing.

“And honestly Mark, your very first wish is what drawn you to me.”

At that Mark looks at her a bit guilty face, “That vanish thing?”

“No. The wish that been bugging you for quite sometimes. About _him_.”

***

Jackson knows he’s done so much, too much even, things that he regrets. He perfectly knows most of time he did things without thinking first. And he understands perfectly that what he did hurt many people he didn’t mean to. The problem is he tent to hurt the closest one to him more than others. It’s like things out of his hands when he did things, or even said things, hurtful to his precious people. Or a certain person.

Like few hours ago how things get out of his hands. He doesn’t even remember what started it. He just remembers the next moment he start shouted things.

_“What the hell you even know, huh? You just shut your mouth. So don’t try to tell me things. It’s my own life and you have no right or no say at it. Just keep your fucking mouth shut as you usually do. Because I don’t give a shit about any of it.”_

_And that’s where Mark’s hurtful eyes struck him. How he took shaky steps back. How his shaking voice whispering brokenly. “I really wish I never know you.”_

Jackson groans at those images and words that keep repeating in his mind. He doesn’t need piercing glare from Jinyoung and cold shoulder from Yugyeom to know how he messed up this time. And to have Bam Bam gives him _that_ look is like an ultimate clarification how he fuck up his relationship—best friend relationship—between him and Mark.

He really tried so hard to think back where thing did turns wrong. It’s like just suddenly he got meaner and meaner to Mark who got quieter and quieter. They used to really talk to each other. To share things, burdens, hopes, and dreams. So it takes him by surprised how years of friendships turns so ugly.

The couch beside him sinks a bit. He doesn’t need to raise his head from his palms to know who it is. His aura tells him perfectly fine. Moreover he feels so pissed off and intimidating at same time, nobody could be as scary as him when he wants.

“You should apologize. And you should stop being an ass. He cares about you.”

At that Jackson huffs a short laugh, “And I’m always the one to blame. Because I’m the ass and everybody think I never care.”

“Jackson, we know you care. We know you care about us, him, more than you’ll admit. But these things should stop for good. I don’t mean to be harsh or rude, but he’s right. You do change. And not change for better. You become worse of you. And you can’t keep doing that nor hurting him like today and any other days before.”

Once Jackson looks right at Jaebum, he regrets it right away. Jaebum always being a leader that tries so hard to keep them intact. So seeing disappointed and hard look in his eyes is literally hurt him. “You and Mark always being so inseparable before. It broke our heart to see how you guys turn out. Please try to make thing up.”

With that Jaebum pats Jackson’s shoulder and head out to his room. A moment before Jaebum close his door, he could see Youngjae puts out his head, “We love you, Jackson hyung.”

And Jackson laughs quietly. Feels bless to have wonderful people around him and shame to the others members. It’s not like he doesn’t know he changing, for worse. It’s just he’s too overconfident to think that other members will still take him for who he’s becoming. But now he knows, they will always take him for who he is, but they’ll also never let him being worse person.

His thought suddenly interrupted by a gasp.

“Oh, sorry. I thought everybody already slept.”

Mark’s standing still in the hallway to the living room. He looks uncomfortable at the intense look from Jackson. The look that he couldn’t reads at all.

“Uh. I think I’ll go to bed first,” said Mark after an awkward silent.

“Wait, Mark!” Jackson takes long steps and grab Mark’s arm before he could get to their room. Mark look back at him with questioning look. And with that Jacksons hold faltered.  

“You’re not Mark. You can’t be Mark,” said Jackson in whispers. And Mark just looks back at him still with questioning eyes. And Jackson could see it all. There are no recognitions in Mark eyes. No hurtful feeing. No warm calming stare. There’s nothing. Moreover there’s no Jackson there. Just blank eyes staring back at him. Like he is nothing.  Like he never knows him.

And Jackson shatters to pieces. _It’s too late_.


	3. Granted

This week has become a torture to Jackson and all of that’s caused by no other than his roommate, Mark.

All apologize that have been in his tongue died the moment he looked into Mark’s eyes that night. The following night when he lashed out his anger towards the said man has been the start of his hell. Because no matter how bad he treated Mark, he always apologized first. And Mark being Mark will putting on fake mad face but eventually forgive Jackson for all those stupid things he said and did. But now it’s different. And Jackson chest feels tighten every time he remembers Mark’s eyes.

And things got worsened.

Jackson knew he’s not sensitive enough to know what’s going on in other people’s head or heart. But being together with Mark for so long made him know enough about Mark. And he could see how different Mark acted around him now. Not an extreme change like avoided him totally or didn’t talk to him like he used to, well even though it’s been quite some times since they really talked to each other. But there’s a subtle change, especially in his eyes.

How whenever Mark talked to him his eyes become wavering a blink moment and turn blank. Then return to normal we he talks to others. How whenever Jackson tried to send him meaningful look, Mark just stare back blankly without recognize any meaning. All that and this things make his heart crumbling slowly.

Jackson knew by heart that Mark was a person you could see through by his eyes. What hurt him the most now is how Mark still looks at others the same way before but only different when he looks at Jackson.

Like now.

They've been pretty exhausted after some basketball game they played. And it becomes another torture for Jackson because he couldn't play with Mark after the first game, because face it, they're so off of each other. And it's a lie if nobody notice.

“Have some drink,” said Mark while putting few bottles of water in front of Jackson’s folded legs.

When Jackson looked up he saw Mark smiles at him. _Fucking different smiles_.

Mark was taken aback with the sudden hard look on Jackson eyes. Then he bid a little last smile before turns around and jogged back to Yugyeom and Youngjae who’s still busy playing one-on-one game at the court.

“Stop staring at him like that.”

“Like what, Nyoung?”

Jinyoung sighed and sited next to Jackson heavily. For a while he didn’t said anything. Just rest his head on the rails. “We’re might be stupid but we’re not blind.”

Jackson frowned at that, “I never thought you’re stupid. You guys sometimes are way smarter for your own good.”

“Really?” Jinyoung laughed at unimpressed expression in Jackson’s face.

“Seriously Jinyoung. It’s been a week and I’m starting to go crazy here.”

“Served you right, don’t you think?”

“Shut up, Jae.”

Once again Jinyoung laughed and move aside to give more space to Jaebum who decided to add some salts to wounded Jackson. “What you expected after said those words. We’re not deaf, Jackson. You wanted him to shut up and never give a damn. Now you got that. You should be happy.”

“Stop it, Jae,” said Jinyoung after looking at Jackson darkening face.

“That was an angry talk.”

“It’s always an angry talk, Jackson.”

“And I always apologize!”

“I didn’t see you apologize this time,” Jaebum started to lower his voice and it’s pretty much a clue for Jinyoung to hold Jaebum by his arm. Afraid that any time Jaebum would pounced on Jackson and beat the hell out of him. It’s a common knowledge Jaebum will always be overprotective over people he cares about. And Mark has special case to Jaebum.

“And how could I apologize when he doesn’t acknowledge that I DID wrong?!! He doesn’t even remember I threw shits to him!!”

The courts fell silent over Jackson’s burst.

“He what??”

***

The shouts stops Magnae Line from playing around with Mark. They could barely hear what they argue about. But when Jackson decided to throw his words for the worlds to know, there's like something hitting Mark's chest so strong. So strong that its invicible power takes his breath out from his lungs. And suddenly all he can hear is Jackson voice ringing in his ears. "I DID WRONG"

Mark eyes flickers a moment and he sees black.

***

“Why do I feel like shit?”

“Because you are shit?”

“Fuck you, Bam.” Mark grimaced. He could felt a bump on the side of his head. “Did I fell?”

Bam Bam looked at him worriedly. “You really don’t remember any of it, Hyung?”

“Remember what?” Mark tried to sit and Bam Bam carefully helped him. He looked around a moment. Now he recognized that he already in the room he shared with Jackson. And over that name Mark felt another throbbing over his head. A pain that felt different from the damn bump. A throbbing that crawled from his head to his chest and sink his heart.

“This past week?” Yugyeom asked from the door. Mark frowned at a tray he brought. “It’s just porridge, hyung. You’ve lost your appetite lately. Your stomach should take light food.”

“Well, I do remember this past week. But… —holly crab!!”

Yugyeom almost drop the porridge he brought by surprised when Mark dashed out from the room. Tangled his legs to the sheets and almost fell face first before balance himself. Thanks to all martial arts tricking training he’s been doing. Bam Bam looked at Yugyeom confusedly and with a match pace they follow Mark to find him busted the toilet.

Mark curled to toilet bowl and emptied his already empty stomach. It’s only bitter taste and acid burn his throat. All the memories came so sudden that left him dizzy. All the guilt now is eating him inside out. He remembers now. This fucking past week.

“It did work out. Shit it did work out!!” Mark freaked out and the rest of the member who already gathered in the door way look at him warily.

“Hyung, what are you talking about? Hyung, you scared us right now,” whisper Youngjae softly, afraid that his always calm hyung freaked out again.

Mark couldn’t answer that question. Because himself not sure how things has turned out. He could feel his body shaking and all thought that stir his bile up.

_“There’s going to be some price to paid, Mark”_

_“I’m willing to pay.”_

_“You do understand it’s not about money, right?”_

_“I heard you right. I perfectly understand to what I wished for. I want it to be granted.”_

_“You’ll never get back what you’ve given to me.”_

_“I have no intention to get them back.”_

_“Mark.”_

_“I have nothing to lose. Just do your job right.”_

_“A week. I’ll see you again then.”_

Mark’s body shaking more violently. His surrounding fading into a blur line and color. The world spirals down and he lost a hold to himself. His cold sweat trickling down his temple. He never felt this sick before. It’s worse than stomach bug he got last year. Way worse than his broken wrist. Way too worse he lost his senses.

“Mark. Hey, Mark. Hold on!”

He could hear those words whispered to his ear. Trying to soothing him down. Strong arms wrapping around his shoulders. There’s a soft hand stroking his hair. There are so much voices. But he can only hear on voice trying to pull him straight.

“Jackson.”

“I’m here, Mark. I did wrong. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Mark clenched his fist tighter to Jackson tank-top. He tried to raise his head from Jackson shoulder. Then his eyes met Jaebum and Jinyoung’s eyes. Jinyoung eyes looked so dreadful and Jaebum can’t hide his anger.

“You made a deal.” That’s all the hiss from Jaebum he could heard before once again the world turn to black.

***

_“You regret it.”_

_“Shut up!”_

_“You being so generous aren’t a thing I expected from you honestly.”_

_“I paid for him isn’t something I expect I’ll do too.”_

_“But you hurt him more like this. Memories are like double blade and you knew it perfectly.”_

_“I can’t just take his memories like that. It’s not fair at all. And his not in his right mind that time. You can’t blame him.”_

_“Both of them are so stupid.”_

_“If only one of them could see how stupid they are.”_

_“He’ll come back right? Back to you.”_

_“I’m more afraid that both of them will come after me.”_

_“For different reasons.”_

_“For completely different reasons and my head start to get hurt.”_

_He laughs for a moment. Then he leans down and kisses her cheek._

_“I couldn’t believe you gave up our ring.” She could still hear a laugh in his voices._

_“I didn’t believe I did it too.”_

_“So you’ll just show up like before?”_

_“No. Let’s just give him some time. He needs to recover.”_

_“Ouch. Should I feel jealous?”_

_“You should. Really should.”_

_“I know. And I will.”_

***

“You really do think he made a deal?” Jinyoung whispers quietly to Jaebum.

Jaebum just take a long drag from cigarette between his lips.

“You know I hate it when you smoke.” At that Jaebum looked straight to Jinyoung eyes then puff some smoke to his eyes.

“You little shit!! I hate you!!” Jinyoung wailed and hit Jaebum in his chest. Jaebum just laugh it off and hold Jinyoung wrist tightly.

“I love you too. And yes, he did make a damn deal. I knew it. I’ll try to contact _him_ soon. He’ll give us some answer for sure.”

“I don’t like _him_. And I still can’t forgive you for what you’ve given up,” said Jinyoung barely whisper when he rest his forehead to Jaebum shoulder.

Jaebum holds around his wrist tightening, more feel like hurting him. But he kept quiet. He will never forget what Jaebum given up and he couldn’t ever forgive himself for that. Because both of them are too young at that time. Too hot blooded and reckless. Too stupid to understand what they’ve done.

“I _hate_ you.”

“I know. And I love you too.”


	4. Granted

Yugyeom is the youngest member and will always be a baby in the other eyes. But sometimes you got blinded by your perception that you never realize that being youngest won’t always mean you don’t know anything. Moreover it has its own privilege to observe things unseen. And being youngest also means you have weapons that will always work on others; cuteness. –bless him and his puppies smile.

Yugyeom knew from the start how GOT7 works to keeps its balance.

Jaebum will always be a leader with all characters entails, but deep down he knew despite all the cold sentiment Jaebum gives, he has the warmest heart from all of them. He cares. He stands for them. He protects them. He won’t let them go and always be there to rely on. He could be a fool too when he wants. Just like a father become a fool to their children, Jaebum most of the times lost his cool over other members craziness. Sometimes that made Yugyeom wonders, Jaebum could fly so high by himself without any bound and wihout any worries that makes Yugyeom afraid he'll cut the ties to GOT7. because he is the star himself. He doesn't really need others to shines. But mostly the thing that Yugyeom never missed; he anchored himself to Jinyoung. Jinyoung will always be Jaebum’s balance. The one who keep him to the ground even the skies taste to good to let go. The only one that will makes Jaebum took a free fall without regret even if it will turns him to the dust. Yugyeom knew.

Jinyoung is a mother to Yugyeom. Like really a mother—aside from fact that Jinyoung couldn’t cook like at all. A mother will always be strong to hold his family together. He’s always affections towards others. Babying them to the point Yugyeom feels like he’s five again. Spoiled Youngjae until the said man felt comfortable enough to be in GOT7. Lulling BamBam to sleep when he sobbed so sadly because of home sick is the sickest things that ever exist. He sleeps late to make sure things are well prepared for tomorrow. He couldn’t stand if ever his family got hurts and hurting each other is a big no in his dictionary—Jackson got a lot of lecture because of that lately. And just like any other mother, Jinyoung keeps things to himself. He chose to die together with his secrets. He might be looks so friendly with all bright smiles, but he’s way colder that ice. It’s really hard to know what’s going on in his mind. How his brain works is a total mystery to Yugyeom. But as always, Jaebum is the only person who could touch Jinyoung heart without get burnt by the cold. Only Jaebum could put Jinyoung into a broken state that for Yugyeom is beyond repair but also the only one who could lifts up Jinyoung so high to touch the stars. Yugyeom understood.

It’s not hard to see things are going between them. It’s so obvious during JJProject. The way they can’t keep their eyes from each other. Can’t stand a space between them. So obvious that when all those flame suddenly burnt down, every single soul notice. Jinyoung couldn’t stand Jaebum and Jaebum throwing tantrum almost every way he could. Thing were so mess up. So bad that Yugyeom almost couldn’t believe that when GOT7 formed, both of them together again. But now Yugyeom a bit understand. It’s no longer hot big fire things between them after all those fight and bloody night—yes, you hear it right. Bloody, now it’s more like a flame. Calm, warm, but still could burnt you to ashes. And it’s still there. But Yugyeom couldn’t even utter a word to them. He realize at one point that he will never like ever could said things about them.

For that, now Yugyeom felt like watching a remake movie. Like a precise story line, but different stars, different feelings, and of course different times, maybe event differet ending.

Jackson is everything but quite. He’s loud, rowdy, rude sometimes, hyperactive, and way too innocent for his own good. The conclusion is he’s mentally three years olds. See now, he even younger in mental state then Yugyeom. That’s why Yugyeom started to wonder how come Jackson change so much in a very short time. Is it because of more attentions he got? Is it a burden to please everybody that killed his genuine smiles? Or is it now he realized for so much he gave up to the point of unreasonable to Yugyeom that turned him bitter?

That’s what made Yugyeom turn his cold shoulder to Jackson who once was his favorite hyung. Because he couldn’t just kick Mark’s heart nine ways to Sunday and put on a puppies eyes begged for forgiveness. He just couldn’t take it. If anybody ever thought Mark as a fragile princess who needed a knight in shining armor to save him than that person should see how Mark beat the hell out of six other members for break the company’s rule. He might looked scrawny—hell said that now after all crazy hours he spent in gym, but no one could denied his authorities. He’s the eldest—yes, for sure. He’s so quite—yes, even more after Jackson crushed him almost every day.  He cares too much—he took others pains as his and comforted them to sleep. He’s everything but nothing. So that’s why Yugyeom so sad when one time he heard Mark said that not like others who gave up so much to be where they are now, he gave up nothing. Because for him, since from the start he has nothing to lose, and he has nothing left.

So Yugyeom can saw it perfectly fine. When the greatest friendship—relationship?—between Mark and Jackson started to fall apart, Yugyeom knew they lost the balance which once keep them intact. Jackson kept on pushing too deep so Mark breaks. Mark kept on fading so Jackson clawing too hard to make Mark stayed just to find he’s bleeding so badly. Yugyeom knew in times Jackson tried to mend those wounds, but it’s no used to mend a wounds when the very next change you got you put another new bleeding wounds. Yugyeom also knew Mark tried to hold on. Tried to looking for a scattered comfort he used to find in Jackson between all the wounds. Tried so hard to hold on until he didn’t realize he already fall apart. Yugyeom knew, and feel so sorry for it, to found that Mark too tired to hold on. So he let go. And the balance crumbling and tumbling.

Youngjae is literally a newborn puppy. Like seriously. He’s way to innocent and pure and sincere and any other thing you could think of. This kind of life is a harsh life where you can’t let your guard down. Where you are not allowed to feel inferior. You have to gain your confident. To find your own light. To shine so bright that others will be blinded. But Youngjae just a pure soul that most of the time it’s so hurtful for Yugyeom to see. He’s a lost puppy. So Yugyeom couldn’t be more thankful than anything when Jaebum took Youngjae under his wings. Couldn’t be more grateful when Jinyoung nurtured Youngjae with all praises, love, and confident. Now Youngjae bit by bit found his place. A boy who once cried so badly because he believed that he’s not worth to be in GOT7, now could stand his own ground. Yugyeom never felt more proud than now on.

For BamBam, Yugyeom couldn’t say much. For him, BamBam is like a mirror. A perfect shapes that looked back at you as you are. They are same. Same mind. Same thought. Same stated. Even same heart. Bambam is a piece that keeps Yugyeom in balance for so long. So he knew that BamBam knew when the ground under GOT7 started to shake they hold on. They hold the ground until their hyung find their balance again. Until then, Yugyeom reach out to Bambam and holding tight. Just because they’re magnae, doesn’t mean they aren’t strong and can’t be the pillar to their members. With Bambam, Yugyeom is the strongest.

***

_“He called.”_

_“And you answered.”_

_He shrugged and tried to find a better position. “It’s not like I couldn’t. He’s my job. Well, they are my job.”_

_“So they knew.”_

_“We work by same patterns. Once you knew you’ll always know.”_

_“Then let’s meet up with them.”_

_“Together?”_

_“Together.”_

_He smirked at that, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you latter if I break some bones.”_

_“I’ll break yours first.”_

_" I start to think you love them more than me."_

_Now she smirks, "Keep on thinking that way, hon."_


	5. Granted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I have to change the plot like 4 times—or 5 times? I’m not satisfied so if I could have some ‘muse’ I’ll try to rewrite it better later on. This chapter is like a key for me. So I tried my best to find and loops and shut them to prevent my self for going crazy. Love you all.

Few days after Mark’s spectacular break down—Yugyeom’s words—that Mark felt shame of, he stared at Jackson’s bed at the dark. The bed that practically above him since they finally get a real bed—or bunk bed and Mark couldn’t feel more grateful, because now he doesn’t have to be afraid for staring as much as he likes. He really likes to look at Jackson’s bed. He didn’t know why, but it will be another shameful episode if Jackson caught him staring. He just felt a lot easier to think while he staring at Jackson’s bed. Really. The bed, not Jackson.

Since that awful day, Jackson wouldn’t leave his side as much as possible. It’s weird for Mark to have Jackson by his side almost without said anything. He just stayed there whenever he can between his too package schedule. Partly Mark understood why Jackson stayed by his side. If not by the sudden rush memories that got back to him exactly a week after the deal, he’ll find Jackson acted so weird.

And now he felt a bit terrified for the future. He started to felt uneasy with this whole deal. Will she really come back to him? Or will he be the one who seek for her? Moreover, what did Jaebum said at that day was real? Or Mark just imagined it? Does it mean Jaebum also made some deal? With her? And why would Jinyoung look at him like he wanted to cry lately? Why does it have to become so much?

“You think too loud.”

“—what?”

“I said you think too loud, Mark.”

“Owh, sorry.”

The silent follow felt awkward, and it’s weird because time with Jackson should never feel awkward. That made Mark think again, how bad this event has turned. Deep in his heart he couldn’t help to feel guilt. He started it. And he’s sorry for that.

“Whatever you did that time, don’t ever do that again. You scared the shit out of me.” Jackson decided to break the silent and as usual, gave his mind out without restrain. Thing that Mark always envies about.

“Do what?” This time Mark tried to test the water. How far Jackson realized. How far Jackson knew.

Jackson sighed, “Don’t start it, Mark.”

“Start what? I don’t even understand what you were talking about.”

“This is always how we start to scream at each other. Aren’t you tired of it? Any of it?”

Mark kept his silent. He knew if he answers, the first thing happen before they start to shout at each other is his heart will break. Because he’s so damn tired. He’s so tired.

“Mark.”

“Do what Jackson?”

At that Jackson threw half of his body down. Tried to look right at Mark to found him looked so broken. Out of his consciousness he reached down for Mark. Hoping to put back every piece, hoping he could make Mark whole again.

Over Jackson actions, out of habit Mark also reach out. When the tips of their finger brushed, both of them reach further to hold on.

“Don’t forget me, Mark. Don’t let me be nobody.”

***

Jackson saw black at first. It like he’s floating in nothingness. He felt so light weight. So empty. So he closed his eyes again.

This time he saw the door of their dorm. Now he felt like some kind of sadness tugging at his heart. He walked down the hallway then and couldn’t be more surprised to find himself in the dim light of living room. But other Jackson he saw has some pixelated edge, some of his features blurred.

_“Oh, sorry. I thought everybody already slept.”_ His mouth saying words that he doesn’t even mean to say. And his other self looked back at him intensely, made him feel uncomfortable. But he started to realized, this isn’t his own feeling. It’s someone else.

_“Uh. I think I’ll go to bed first.”_

_“Wait, Mark!”_ The grip in his arms felt burnt and he lost his words when his other self faltered, _“You’re not Mark. You can’t be Mark.”_

Jackson feels his lungs shrink. He couldn’t breathe.

And then he’s like been dragging to the fast forward movie. Every moments and pictures hurt him more and more. He remembers now. It’s that memorable awful week. He saw every moment from Mark’s eyes. Feel every emotion with Mark’s heart. That full week, every time Jackson involved, Mark couldn’t see him clearly. Couldn’t really figure out who he talked to. And from with Mark’s heart to felt now he knew, for Mark, Jackson was just an existence. Right there, solid and real, but fading to no emotion at each time. Mark erased Jackson from his memories slowly.

Jackson feels like dying.

Suddenly everything’s dark again. He doesn’t want to open his eyes.

But there’s something forced him to open his eyes. And now here he is, in a corner of a coffee shop. There’s a woman sits in front of him across the table. The strong coffee from her cup makes Jackson feels dizzy.

_“There’s going to be some price to paid, Mark”_

_“I’m willing to pay.”_

_“You do understand it’s not about money, right?”_

_“I heard you right. I perfectly understand to what I wished for. I want it to be granted.”_

_“You’ll never get back what you’ve given to me.”_

_“I have no intention to get them back.”_ I can’t get him back.

_“ **Jackson,** **feels him.** ”_

***

That voice sounds too loud, too real, and too close. Jackson wakes with cold sweat covers his body. He gasps. It couldn’t be real. It was just a dream. Mark won’t do some terrible thing like that. He knows Mark. So he won’t.

But his little heart betrayed him. _“You know he’s capable to do that. You know he will.”_

***

_“You violate the rules!!”_

_She could feel his grip tighten at her throat._

_“You of all people know it’s forbidden to walking through dreams.”_

_“And you of all people should understand.”_

_“I will never let you do that. Over my dead body.” He trashes her body to the ground. Feels anger more than he ever felt._

_“We’re already dead. We’re a walking corpse.”_

_“No, we’re not. We’re alive. We’re chosen.”_

_She stares at him on the verge of tears. ”You loved me.”_

_“I’m still and will always love you.”_

***

“You look better.”

Jaebum turned at his heels to find that man leaned at one of the window, checked Jaebum out. Jaebum never can remember his face perfectly. Some shit things he said about secrecy. But his voice was kind of voice that Jaebum will remember even in his grave later. And he absolutely hated that voice.

“You look as nasty as ever.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. So, another deal?”

“Hell you wish.”

Jaebum watch him raised his hand and like from nothing there’s a woman appeared beside him. She smiled at him warmly, but a dark glimpse in her eyes told Jaebum she’s not a woman you want to mess with.

“She’s my partner.”

“I don’t really need to know that.”

For a moment his smiles harden, “You should learn some manner, Jae.”

“There’s more important thing I need to know. And yes, I’ll pay.”

“Sure.”

Even though he answered so lightly, Jaebum could sense he already knew what he wanted to ask and that man, really hate to answer it. Some satisfaction runs in Jaebum veins to know this man could lose his cool too.

“A friend of mine, Mark, did he make some deal?” Jaebum too surprised to turned when he heard Jinyoung voice. A moment later he could feel Jinyoung stand by his side. Unconsciously Jaebum pulled Jinyoung a bit to his back.

“Ah, still as overprotective as ever, huh?”

“Just answer us.”

“Yes, he made some little tiny shitty deal.”

“What you mean by—“

“Hey you two, the fans sign will start soon. Hurry up!”

Jaebum and Jinyoung look over their shoulder to find their manager looking for them. “Yes, hyung we’ll be there in a minute.”

When Jaebum turned back, both of them already disappear. He sighed heavily. “What kind of shit Mark got himself into?”

He taken aback when he felt Jinyoung cared his ear, “Those are your birthday presents.”

Now Jaebum could feel it. Two of his earrings disappear to thin air, “From you to be exact.”

“I hate _him_. Really hate _him_.”

Jaebum just hold Jinyoung hand that still caressing his ear, “I’m sorry.”

***

They have a fans sign event today. Usually Jackson feels so excited and hyperactive until Jaebum, who annoyed by his acts, put him down and threat to tie him to the chair. But now he keeps biting on his thumb nail and stays quiet. Sometimes he averts his eyes to Mark who looks back at him, trying to ease his tensions. Even all Bambam and Youngjae effort fail miserably. They couldn’t even make Jackson smiles.

Last night dream hunts him down. He’s too afraid to confront Mark, too afraid to find out how true that dream was. He feels so sick; he can’t even keep down any food. He can’t think straight now. He just wants to curls in his sheets and forgets that damn dream.

Then there’s a warm hand caressing his back. Jinyoung just smiles at him when he tries to ask him what’s up. Jinyoung keeps caressing his back, and a bit, even just a bit Jackson feels better. “Please don’t let him do anything more stupid than this.”

Jackson looks at Jinyoung. Not sure if Jinyoung really talked to him. “What do you mean?”

Jinyoung just pats his shoulder and walk away with the saddest smiles Jackson ever seen.

“Get ready guys, we’ll get to the stage any minutes.” Their manager shouts while trying to push around full package backstage to get to them. Then one by one of them get ready. When Jackson sees Mark stands up he pulls him back.

“You okay?”

Jackson just tightens his grip at Mark’s wrist and pulls him closer. He lays his head to Mark’ stomach, buried his face to Mark’s belly. Soft fingers then run among his hair. Mark pulls them a bit, trying to find some answer from Jackson.

“I won’t let you forget.” He could feel Mark going rigid, but he still goes on, “I’ll make you remember. You can’t get rid of me so easily. You’ll remember me.”

***

Youngjae senses something fishy is going on or going to happen.

The fans sign went smooth. All the fans are satisfied. All the members kept their professional attitude. Mark and Jackson did a lot of fan service. Jinyoung as always stole Mark more often than before from Jackson. Jaebum kept him company all the way and smiled warmly at Jinyoung and Mark touchy-touchy acted. Bambam and Yugyeom as always tried their best to steal fans heart to avert their fans attention to them because Jackson couldn’t stop space out.

But now, right when only seven of them walked through a long corridor to the basement parking lots, Youngjae knows something are out of place. Because it was never only seven of them. There’s always coordi-noona, managers hyung, and other people. And they are always so loud, but now nobody talks. It’s so silent. He can only hear their own footsteps in hard concrete. So it feels so off.

Suddenly Jaebum stops on his track and the rest of them also stop to take a look. There’s a woman. Nothing special about her in Youngjae’s eyes, but Youngjae wonders how she could get here.

“I’m a fan. Could I get some autograph?”

Out of them, suddenly Mark steps forward and pulls her aside. “What are you doing here?” They could hear Mark whispers.

“Like I said; to get some autograph?”

This time Jackson comes forward and drags Mark away from the woman. “Get lost.” His voice so sounds cold. Even Youngjae has to stop himself from shivering.

“Jackson, what are you doing?” Mark tries to snaps Jackson hand. “Let me go, you hurt me.”

“You hurt me first.”

“What?!”

Like on cue Yugyeom and Bambam step forward try to pry them. It’s always like this how thing start. One of them will raise their voices and the other will get along and they’ll end up shout at each other just to hurt themselves more.

“I knew her and I won’t let you do more stupid thing!”

“You knew her?” Jinyoung and Mark ask at the same time.

“I’ve seen her before too. No, we’ve seen her before, Jin.”

At Jaebum words Jinyoung tries to look at her better. “Sweet Jesus!!”

“Wait, you guys know each other?” Mark looks so confuses that he stops struggling from Yugyeom’s hold.

“I knew she’s a bitch that granted your wish!!”

In a blink Jackson pinned to the wall. A man looms over him with dangerous looks. “Watch your mouth, son.” He tightens his grip on Jackson collars.

Other members too surprise with that man sudden appearance to try to help Jackson.

“How could you know?” Mark tiny whispers break the silent.

“I saw it all in the dream. I saw with your eyes, felt with your heart. I knew all, Mark.”

This event took all Youngjae brain to process. He couldn’t understand any of it. It doesn’t even feel real. Human can puff from thin air. Jackson shouldn’t believe a dream. Jaebum and Jinyong should help Jackson now instead of losing their colors. And he knows Yugyeom and Bambam as lost as he is.

“You lie!!”

“He tells the truth, Mark. He found me in the dream.”

Now colors also drain from Mark face, “It’s not possible.”

“What?! It’s not possible that I know how you feel? Should I shout for the world to know?! Should I tell them all?!” Jackson shouts so loud that his voice echo.

“Jackson, stop it!” But before Jaebum could take any step toward Jackson, he could hear Mark whisper.

**_“I give my consent.”_ **

Then they feel it. An invisible powers root them to the ground.

 “No, Mark!! Stop it, Mark!!!” Jinyoung terror scream send chills to Youngjae and two other magnae. Three of them could only watch when that man pulls back, but Jackson still pinned to wall. Then Jackson looks like he aware of what’s going on, starts to scream too. “No, Mark!! Am at fault here!! I’m sorry, Mark!! Please stop!!”

But Mark looks like he’s in a trance. His eyes look so distance.

**_“I know what I choose and I won’t regret any of it. The wish is mine to keep and for you to granted. I will pay the price willingly and precisely. Not more or less. I agree to seal this covenant.”_ **

Youngjae doesn’t even know what it means but he knows by heart it’s something terrible. So he shouts and begs Mark to stop too. Yugyeom looks so terrify and Bambam already crying.

That woman looks straight to Jackson for a moment. **_I give you a chance to make things right._**

**_“Granted.”_ **

They could feel the air getting thicker and warmer around them. A sudden breeze twirls around Mark in seconds and everything disappears. The power, the breeze, and both of two mysterious couple, all disappears to nothing.

Youngjae could feel his throat so dry. Jinyoung’s breaks on his knees. Yugyeom and Bambam hold each other and shaking badly. Jaebum could only watch the ceiling with wet eyes. And Mark still standing in his trance state.

Jackson heavy steps steal Youngjae attentions. Almost can’t believe what he sees, Youngjae couldn’t even scream. Jackson grabs Mark’s collars and punches him with all he got.

Mark body falls to the ground. After a moment, like trying to gain his control, he looks up to Jackson.

“Remember that pain or I’ll make you remember every single day.” _Because I feel worse._

Mark is still staring at Jackson. A trace of blood runs down from his lips. But his eyes looked so cold and blank. Distance.

***

_“You gotta be kidding me.”_

_“What?”_

_“I can’t just erase him from your life. It’s just like you ask me to kill him.”_

_“I didn’t mean for you to kill him.”_

_“What you want is a same different.”_

_“Then what could you suggest.”_

_“I just can turn him to nobody.”_

_“Why just nobody?”_

_“Because you’re still gonna be in a same group, same room, same company, and all same things. Simply to say, it’s just like a selective amnesia.”_

_“Does it mean together with him will created other memories of him? Of us? And eventually I’ll regain my memories about him?”_

_“Well, no. Your body, mind, soul, and heart will ‘block’ him. So no memories will be created during your time together or even if you live your life with him.”_

_“Is it a forever thing?”_

_“Forever is a very long time.”_

_“Yeah, I know.”_

_“You should understand.”_

_“So I won’t recognize him?”_

_“Well, I don’t like to explain but your wish is a very complicated thing. Let’s say you’ll see him as Jackson Wang. Just Jackson Wang.”_

_“Okay. And what’s the price?”_

_“Your memories—and your heart.”_ And his grief, regrets, pains, and tears.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning : this chapter; like other chapter, isn't beta-read, so any mistakes are fully mine to blame. i tried really hard for this chapter. hope you guys could enjoy it. and i really really going crazy with my own schedule (not that i don't enjoy it) and lost my patient to make this chapter longer. sorry i'm not sorry. and i really looking for a beta because i really want to make this story works out. ha!

Two weeks and still counting on.

 

People like to think Jinyoung is a rude bastard. He’s not fun. He killed the mood. He’s way too serious. He’s not the same person as he used to. And Jinyoung would ask back, ‘How could I be the same after all?’

Jinyoung’s not rude; he’s a bluntly-too-honest person. He’s a realist. He always took things as a whole mater. He changed because he has to. And how could he be the same after what he—and Jaebum—did?

So when things winded down on Jackson and Mark, when the magnaes lost, and Jaebum started to walk away, Jinyoung tried his best to shelter their heart; to let them know, he’s there whenever they need comfort and loves. Because he’ll give his all and that made him feel needed and loved.

 

Two weeks and still counting on.

 

To his surprised, Jackson didn’t go berserk to Mark. He mostly looked defeated and shut down. Even after the manager almost hit him after found out he punched Mark at the face, he just apologized and admitted he was wrong. For that Jinyoung wondered, to which event he apologized and felt sorry for.

Jinyoung also felt grateful when the magnaes didn’t utter any words. They looked at him and he tried to tell them by the look ‘Later. I’ll tell you later. Please believe me.”

But when Jaebum walked away, he begged. He couldn’t let Jaebum got away once again. ‘Stay with me. Don’t leave again. Don’t close yourself on me. I can’t take it again. I _hate_ you, please stay.’ Once was enough. So Jaebum stayed.

Jinyoung felt relieved; relieved than ever when that night onward Jackson sought some comfort from him.

That’s a long day; a hard to believe and ridiculous one. He spent long time after they arrived at the dorm to argue with Jaebum.

_“Jae, we should fix this.”_

_“You know we couldn’t.”_

_“We have to try. Don’t you understand? It could tear all of us apart! Not only you and me, but GOT7.”_

_“I do understand well, Jin. Too well.”_

_“Then please do something.”_

Their talk still haunted him down so he couldn’t get any sleep even after he close his eyes. They have a hell of schedule the next day, but sleep refused to find him and his mind too loud to take some rest. Then his heart almost stopped when he felt cold fingers circling his ankle.

His eyes shoot open to find Jackson loomed over him.

He didn’t say any words. He just shifted aside to give some space to Jackson when he crawled up to the bed and lay facing the wall. He could feel Jackson body so rigid with tension; he even slightly trembled. In the dimed room, Jackson’s breathe sound so loud. It’s short and heavy.

Jinyoung didn’t know how long has it been. Ten minutes? An hour? Forever?

“Did you feel hurt like hell too?”

Jackson’s voice drifted to another long silence. Jinyoung looked at the ceiling, not sure how to answer Jackson obvious question. It’s no longer a secret and it’s stupid to pretend. Jinyoung sighed heavily.

“It did hurt both of us actually.”

Jackson turned around and tried to look at Jinyoung eyes, but Jinyoung kept on looking at the ceiling. He’s not sure he could hold his composure if he looked back at Jackson. He’s so afraid that the pain Jackson felt will drag him back to the past. So he kept looking straight at the ceiling. Looking for an escape.

Then he felt Jackson nuzzled his neck, “How could you, both of you, survived? Tell me both of you were not stupid enough. Tell me both of you were strong enough.”

Jinyoung kept his silence; because both of them were not strong enough and they were barely survived. They should carry the wounds for the rest of their life.

“Hyung.”

Jackson and Jinyoung almost didn’t hear the word, but after Jinyoung’s door slide open slightly, they averted their gaze to said door to found three heads with tousled hair peeked in.

“Can we come in?” Bambam rough voice continued on.

Jinyoung chuckled a little, “Come in.”

The reason Jinyoung refused to change his mattress to a real bed was this; one of actually. He knew how the members took comfort from huddled and cuddled with each other, and a single bed couldn’t accommodate seven tangled bodies all together. So he decided to keep the mattress and always laid extra blanket at the floor to the member if they sneaked in at night.

Soon after received Jinyoung permission, the magnaes slipped in and hurriedly closed the door. Jinyoung could hear Jackson grunted; knew he hate the interruption from their lovely magnaes.  Jinyoung just chuckled further and with a loud ‘owwff’ from Jackson after he suddenly pulled Jackson to rolled him over his body that soon followed by another ‘owwff’ when Youngjae decided to headed on Jackson’s stomach before nuzzle his flat belly, Jinyoung took a deep breath.

 “It’s not a pillow Youngjae!” Jackson whined and tried to shy Youngjae away.

Acted like he couldn’t hear Jackson, Youngjae kept on nuzzle until he found a comfortable position.

Two other magnaes also tried to find the best position. Then Yugyeom took a space right beside Youngjae and pulled Bambam down. Bambam laid his head on Yugyeom stretched arm then Yugyeom rounded his other arm to Bambam waist. After some time to adjust their position, Jackson found himself being the center of this not-so-circle-of-comfort-his-members-tried-to-make.

“You okay, hyung?” Bambam voiced still sound so rough, but he also heard a lot more awake than before. Jackson could hear worries in his voice, so he cradled Bambam hair, feeling the soft strains between his fingers.

“Define what okay is first.”

“I don’t understand this whole thing, hyung. Care to explain to us?” This time Youngjae asked carefully while picking on a thread at the hem of Jackson’s tank-top.

“Only Jinyoung could explain it well. I myself don’t fully understand what the hell is going on.”

“Language, Jackson,” said Jinyoung without bite on it. Instead he pulled Jackson closer with an embrace around Jackson’s waist, trapped Jackson’s side to his front. Jackson just rolled his eyes.

“Hyung, who were those people?”

“They were bad people. They will always be bad people, Yugyeom-ah.”

“Then why would Mark Hyung have some business with them?”

“Do you really know them well, hyung?”

“Did you have business with them too?”

“Guys, one question at time, okay?”

“But really, who are they hyung?” Youngjae couldn’t keep his curious a bay.

Jinyoung sighed.

“They are a wish-dealer. They granted your wish after made some deals with you and take the price from you. And it’s not about money, the price could be anything. Anything precious, worth, and balance for your wish. It could be anything.

“I’m not even sure if they’re human or not and where their sick power came from, but they do real things. It’s not a play thing. You couldn’t deal first and changed your mind later. They play once and fair. But they are tricky and manipulative. You should be careful for what you wish and what the price is. They couldn’t take more or less, but that doesn’t mean they won’t get as much as they can.”

At that Jackson’s body went rigid again, the stroke at Bambam hair also stopped. Softly Jinyoung tighten his hold and Youngjae flatten his palm under Jackson’s tank-top, trying to relaxing Jackson tensed muscle.

“Does it mean Mark Hyung made some awful deal?” Yugyeom voice almost couldn’t be heard. He sounded so terrified.

“As you could see by your own eyes before, the answer is yes.” Jaebum voice started them all. They looked at their leader who lean on the door frame with crossed leg and crossed arms.

“Hyung!!”

Jaebum then walked in and left the door slightly open.  He leaned down and kissed Youngjae’s temple before huddled next to Youngjae. Jackson grumbled and tried to shied Jaebum and Youngjae heads, but Jinyoung kept him in place.

“So it also means both of you also made some deals before?” said Yugyeom after they settled and Jackson stopped grumble.

“It would be a lie if we say we didn’t, but things were complicated back then,” answered Jaebum with voice so distance more like he talked to himself.

“How could you find people like them, hyung?” asked Youngjae while cradling Jaebum’s hand between his.

“Not them. I just know about the man, that woman is a new thing for sure. And we didn’t find him, he found us. You’ll never find them first no matter how hard you try, but once you crossed path with them, you’ll never let go. You can’t.” This time Jinyoung answered instead.

“Okay. I can see the picture clearer now,” said Bambam after spaced out.

Jinyoung smirked, “What picture?”

“Both of you, hyung. I can see it now. I bet all my fortune that I’m right at what deal you made of.”

“You don’t have much fortune left, Bam.” Bitted Jackson that made Jinyoung laughed.

“I hate you, hyung.”

“No you’re not. I’m too sexy to be hated.”

“Your humors haven’t died yet, huh?”

“Never. But I’m dying right now.” Jackson answered sound too serious that made Bambam flinched.

“Don’t be an ass hyung.” Yugyeom slapped any part of Jackson’s body he could reach.

“So what was your guess?” ask Jinyoung with a challenge in his voice.

Bambam tried to answer but he felt like something blocked his throat. All eyes set on him, waiting. He tried to say it again, but the words won’t spill out. “I can’t say it,” he said finally felt defeated.

“Then you guess it right. That’s the point of it Bam.” This time except Jaebum, they all looked at Jinyoung and found a bitter smile and resent eyes stared back at them.

“Oh, God. You guys are—! How could you—!! Woah, I can’t believe this!!” Yugyeom flipped and pointed finger at both of them.

“Why? You couldn’t accept it?” asked Jaebum with cold eyes.

“Hyung! It’s not that I can’t accept it! How could you made such a deal hyung?!”

“We’re too young, Gyeom. We didn’t even realize what the price is until it kicked us on the face. Trust us, Gyeom. As much as you couldn’t believe it is as much as we regret it.”

“What was the price, Hyung?” Youngjae ask after a long paused.

“Each of us paid for it.” That’s all Jaebum said. Knew Jaebum won’t tell further Jinyoung took the sign to continued, “I can’t say I love him directly and for every _love_ word I say out he could only hear _hate_. Even if I say ‘I _love_ IGOT7’ all he could hear is ‘I _hate_ IGOT7’. Really, if you ask him now all my _love_ word I said he could just hear _hate_ on them. I can’t say and he can’t hear. And that’s totally suck.

“I could tell people. I could tell you guys, but you—all of you, can’t tell about us to other. At that time we just don’t want the world to know about us. We’re too scared but we couldn’t let go. It’s so messed up and we—and I just can’t. ”

Jinyoung could feel his eyes got watery, he blinked rapidly, tried to hold the tears. The rest of them could hear the pain in his voice got thicker and thicker when he talked. This time around Jackson hold Jinyoung back harder, understood and tried to kept Jinyoung whole. Bambam also reached out and squeezed Jinyoung hand firmly.

Jaebum stayed pliant during Jinyoung speech. Every time this thing brought up, he felt so lost and empty. The wounds will never dry; it keeps on bleeding at time to time. Youngjae soft fingers cared his cheek brought him to present. He gave a little smile to Youngjae and then Yugyeom leaned his head to his bicep, “I’m sorry, hyung.”

“You don’t have to, Yugyeom-ah. It’s totally our own fault.”

“So you can say it out loud to the world but we—the world—would never could said things about you both?” Jackson tried his best to play with the words so he could get to the point without being forcedly block.

“Simply to say you’re right. We’re together like _together_ but nobody; not a single living body could tell about us. You guys know now, but you never can tell anybody. You just stuck with that knowledge forever. I really mean forever, because we asked for forever.”

Silence felt unto them, covered their own thought. Beside Jaebum and Jinyoung, the rest of them tried to recall the memories. Every moment they passed with Jaebum and Jinyoung, way before GOT7, before JJProject, and even before training time. Like Bambam said, they could see it clearer now. They’re not even surprised. Doesn’t it weird to not feel any surprise? But they didn’t feel anything besides relieved. Maybe because deep down they already knew, deep down they expected it, and when both of them come clean there’s no space to feel shock, hate, or even disgust.

All of them are young. Still young. So they could understand the sentiment to made such a rush decisions without thinking further. Then how hurt it is when you realize what you did. People said it’s a privilege of being young, but all the regrets ensued aren’t things what people told beforehand.

Six of them kept drowning in their own thought. The silence became a comfort that lulled them through the ticking time.

“And what did Mark hyung do?” Youngjae whispered softly to Jaebum.

“I don’t know exactly, but the deal he made way more complicated—if not stupid. He played with memories, Jae. The thing that even that man ‘kindly’ told us to be careful with. Only Mark and that woman knew.”

“Don’t you know it too hyung? I remember you said you know her, you saw all in your dream. Is it true or what?” over Yugyeom question all eyes fixed on Jackson.

Jackson never felt so vulnerable before. He could feel his eyes got wet, “I fucked up.”

“Hyung, you could tell us hyung. Trust on us. We’ll try our best to make it better.” Yugyeom pleaded sound so pity like an abandon puppy, but Jackson really couldn’t say anything. He knew he became a coward. He’s so afraid; he afraid that once he let it out it’ll be real. Once he admitted it, then it’ll be finish.

“He no longer wanted me in his life. I didn’t even know how things turned like this. He just doesn’t want to know me anymore. He—.” Jackson couldn’t finish his words. He felt like paper thin, so close to be torn apart. He thought he already knew all kinds of pain; physically and mentally, but this pain is new kind of pain. He felt so raw, bare, feral, crush, and all the worst feelings that he just heard about.

Other members touch felt like burnt to his skin this time. All the reassurance they tried to make him feel made him feel hurt instead. He felt so miserable and there’s guilt build up on his chest, because he wanted to be left alone, escaped from all of them,  and drowned in his own misery, but at the same time he’s too afraid to be left alone. He couldn’t stand the feeling to be unwanted again; he terrified thinking that others will leave him too— _forget him too_.

Then the silent came and dragged them down again. The silent took so long and nobody tended to break it. One by one, they drifted to restless sleep, and after made sure Jackson breathing came constant, Jinyoung checked on the others. Bambam and Yugyeom already fast asleep and tangled with each other, Youngjae seemed to decide to join the other two magnae by curling to Yugyeom’s back. Aside of all this dysfunctional day, Jinyoung could feel all the fondness seep through his body.

Carefully he entangled himself from Jackson. He tried his best to make as less sound as possible, and after successfully slipped out from his room he released a long heavy sigh. He dragged his bare foot through the long corridor with cold floor. Then almost without make any sound, he peeped to Jackson and Mark’s room. After made sure Mark already sleep, he slip in and carefully sat at Mark’s bed.

He looked into Mark face intensely. He tried to map all the different. There was an ugly bruise turn purple formed at Mark’s face; all credits went to Jackson for that, no longer creased line on his forehead; at least Jinyoung felt relieve that Mark didn’t get any nightmare,  but his face looked so paled and lifeless.  After a pretty long time looked at Mark, he combed Mark’s hair softly, put aside few hair strain away from Mark flawless face. Then he lean down and kissed each of Mark’s eyes.

He stood beside kitchen counter for few minutes after leaving Mark’s room. He could barely contained his own feeling. Too long into the silent made his mind going wild again. His chest felt so hurt, like out of air. Slightly he could feel his body trembled, he knew he’s on the edge of breaking down.

Suddenly there’s firm pair of hands wrapped around his waist; hold him tight and prevented him from broke down. Then he turned around and rounded his arms around other neck. His body sagged and he sobbed into other collar; wetting the warm skin beneath.

Jaebum could only held Jinyoung tighter. it broke his heart to see Jinyoung cried his heart out so bad like that. once awhile he patted Jinyoung back, tried to calm him down, but Jinyoung cried harder instead. So Jaebum let him pour his heart out through his tears.

 “We’ll fix it. We’ll figure something out. I promise.”

That was the last words Jaebum said after Jinyoung calmed down. He looked right to Jinyoung eyes then lean for a short sweet good night kiss.


End file.
